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-Quatre's Journal-
[ Private Post - Self Discovery ]Collapse )

Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
Current Music: Deftones - Change

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It's amazing what a little LiveJournal downtime will do to throw off your daily routine. *sheepish* Apparently I spend more time online than I thought.

My birthday was quiet, peaceful. I’ve a watch from Trowa which is powered by my pulse. After about eight hours of being worn, the watch won't work for anyone but me, as it's adjusted itself to my body's rhythm. Trowa made certain to tell me as well that it's silver and gundanium; for some reason he's under the impression that once I get the labs up and running, Duo and I will be doing things that will wreak havoc upon our persons. I can't imagine just what he thinks we'll be doing. *amused*

Trowa also made me dinner, which was very good. Aside from a cake that had a bit of a list, everything turned out perfectly. He underestimates his ability to cook, I think. I'd encourage him to do it more often, but I'm not certain he actually enjoys the process. I certainly don't.

Wufei arrived on Wednesday as a birthday surprise and took us out to dinner. It was nice having just the three of us together again; there were a few awkward moments, but for the most part everything went smoothly. Before he left, he gave me a hand-woven silk tie and a prosperity pin. I'm sure he was aiming for 'smartass' with the latter, but I appreciated the thought. And I was sorry to see him leave.

Zechs' gift... well. Let me state first off that he is a sick man, and second that I had nothing to do with the original gifting of the rat; why I had to be subject to a search of Bondage Mickey for my gift certificate is beyond me. My memory is long, my friend, and paybacks are, as they say, a bitch.

And for god's sake, Wufei, if you send me that .wav one more time...

Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Joydrop - Beautiful

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I've known Trowa for so many years, seen him do so many amazing things, but the memories lose clarity over time. They blur around the edges until the recollection is more textual than anything, a collection of 'I remember whens' rather than the more visceral sensations of the actual acts. I live with him, I see him most every day; I see his grace as he walks across a room and I feel the strength in his body when he's moving over me, yet... the memories are faded, fuzzy. Watching him tonight, seeing that grace and strength played out in ways most others are incapable of... he took my breath away. Every leap from the trapeze, every move across the wire brought things more into focus. He was suddenly.. more real to me than he'd ever been before. All the memories were sharply etched again; watching as he tossed one of my nephews in the air, seeing him leap from Heavyarms' cockpit with no concern for the ground rushing to meet him, feeling his arms around me as we lay in bed.

*lets out a long, quiet breath* I don't know why I was suddenly graced with such clarity, but it's an epiphany I'll not soon forget. I take him for granted; it's something we all tend to do with those we care about. I love him, though, and I'll tell him this yet again when he finds me; I can hear his footsteps coming down the hall now. *smiles faintly* It's long passed midnight and his deadline has come and gone. We'll say goodnight to the others and retreat to the suite Relena's loaned us. I'll collect some more memories, and those memories will fade with time... but each new day will bring new memories, bright and sharply focused, to remind me of what I have and to remind me not to take him for granted. It won't be an easy thing; old habits are easy to fall back into, but he's more than worth the effort.


Fic and dialogue: CircusCollapse )

Current Mood: grateful grateful

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I'm leaving for L3 very shortly and I'm not certain I'll be online again before New Year's, so I'll take this time to wish everyone a happy holiday. Have fun and be safe, my friends.
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I have to say that one of the things I never thought I'd see would be Heero laughing so hard his drink comes out his nose. *shakes head*
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Happy birthday, Zechs.

Please note that I did not get you anything weird, crude, blasphemous or the least bit frightening. That's not to say I'm not hiding something in the wings and biding my time, but for today, at least, I've nothing but honest good wishes for you.

No, really.
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*winces* I'm sorry, I place myself at your mercy. I suck, and it will never happen again?

Current Mood: guilty guilty

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This has certainly been a week for upheaval... in more ways than one. I've honestly not given much thought to Miranda's husband's involvement in Duo's blackmailing, aside from taking steps to make certain neither Miranda nor William have access to any critical functions at WEI. There's time enough for that later, when I can sit down with my anger and come to terms with the fact that a member of my family was one of the people involved in a plot to ruin the lives of two of my closest friends. Duo's the priority now, however; seeing him out of the hospital and fully healed takes precedence. Retribution of any sort can wait, for me at least. *wryly* Duo's well loved by those in my family who know him, though, and I expect their brand of retribution is well under way.

That being said, Wufei and I... well. I can make excuses, but frankly, [I'm not sorry it happened], and I don't think he is, either. The weekend was busy and stressful for all of us, and I suppose the position we found ourselves in Monday night, alone in my bedroom... *shrug* I think, in the end, it had to happen to give us all closure. Hopefully we can move forward from here and regain the close friendship the three of us shared in the past.

Current Mood: sleepy sleepy

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[filtered for Wufei]

Wufei, would you be able to bring one of your swords to the Center party? Trowa's outfit comes with a scabbard, but no weapon. We were going to leave it as is, but now... I want him armed if at all possible. I'm certain you know the type of blade I'm talking about.
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[filtered from untrusted individuals]

Heero, Duo, get ahold of me ASAP via a secure channel. I've information on your situation.
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